What are your intentions?

Not too long ago a situation happened where my circle and I were enjoying each other’s company. So much so that we decided to spread joy with others via social media.  We were met with so many positive comments and praises.  Others too started captioning their day with their circle as well.  It was a great day.  The very next day we were met with a single critique that wasn’t positive, or helpful either (sometimes you will get a critique that though it doesn’t feel good to the ears, it is for the up building of you and your future but this wasn’t it).  Immediately some in our circle thought that we should remove the video from social media all because of this one comment.  At that moment I had to take in consideration the circles feelings about the video but also the reasoning behind their feelings.  Was this a hindsight moment or was this all because one person did not like it?

Have you ever gotten dressed and felt really good about your appearance?  Not only did you like how you looked that day, but you were told all day by dozens of people that you looked AMAZING! They loved the color of the ensemble and the fit of it as well.  You stepped high up until one person, JUST ONE, says to you “ok now you better pull back from the table, because that shirt is looking a little snug.’ IMMEDIATELY every compliment you heard that day became a distant memory.  Though the other critiques were so positive, you find yourself checking your body image in the mirror and eating only half of your lunch because you have put yourself on an instant diet. This is something that we allow to happen far too often in our lives.  We allow the negative words of others feed into us so much more than the positive.  This is THE SCARY POWER OF NEGATIVE WORDS!!!

Have you ever looked at someone and gave an OPINION about something that (1) You weren’t asked about and (2) Did not uplift or help the outcome of the situation at hand?  Let me help you out. The answer is YES!  We all have at one point or another. Never was our intentions to deflate the person, but ask yourself, “How many times have my words been the cause of someone’s negative critique of themselves?”  Let’s stop empowering others with our negative words and uplift them with our positive ones.  As I stated before, not all critiques feel good, but make sure its coming from a place to help one grow.  Before you decide to give your opinion or before you decide to accept the opinion of others, ask yourself what is the intent behind it.......UNTIL NEXT TIME! Ciao for now!

CONSISTENTLY CONSISTENT

Hello loves!! I pray 2019 has been as amazing to you, as it has been for me thus far.  It has truly been eye opening and I must say...I haven't liked everything my eyes have been opened to but as I have learned, you can't correct what you will not confront!  

I woke up this morning feeling fearless and a little adventurous.......I got on the scale!!!  I avoid that thing like the plague, but today I needed to know if weight-loss was the result of my hard work and dedication. IT WAS!!  I was so excited!  I reminded myself in that moment that as long as I am consistent, the result will continue to show.  I became so motivated to do better and to be better.  I made my grocery list and committed to eating exactly what I purchased. No deterring from the plan!  I was quite proud of this declaration. I had been pressing through for months now and had plateaued in a big way. I was so proud of the number that came across the scale that I told myself, "Kenyetta you did that girl!  All that hard work is starting to pay off.  Now, when you feel like quitting, remember this moment and think of the end result.....A better, healthier YOU!"  I also thought that if I could stay consistent in my weight-loss journey on the days that were tough, on the days where I just didn't want to go to the gym, and on the days when I got on the scale and it moved in the wrong direction, then why couldn't I stay consistent in other areas of my life?

So many times I would create a budget for myself and do well for a few weeks.  I would stay out of certain stores.  I would unsubscribe from different email distro list to resist temptation.  I even would take credit cards out of my wallet so I wouldn't get the urge to shop.  This would work for months even! AND THEN....Semi-Annual sales would appear, or a dress that was $300 would go on sale for $75!!! I mean who could resist that?!  I would tell myself that I was doing good to get it at that price and this ONE time I could let go!  This would lead to new purses being purchased and new shoes being shipped to my home. So much so that the two closets in my room is NOT enough for my wardrobe.  Why?!!  Because I didn't tell myself that just because its a sale, doesn't mean its a sale for me!! Bottom line....I DIDN'T STAY CONSISTENT WITH MY COMMITMENT!!! 

We do so well in the beginning to whatever we commit to.  Whether it's budgeting, jobs, blogging, or even relationships. We make the decision to follow a specific guideline, while verbally declaring how we are "ALL IN."  What happens is, we are so proud of the work we do that we get comfortable in thinking that we have this commitment down to a science.  That we don't need to be "ON" at all times, when that is the furthest thing from the truth.  It's almost like the person who takes medicine to control an illness.   Each day they take the medicine like clockwork; never forgetting.  Some are so committed that they even take it at the same time each day.  The meds begin to do its job and somewhere we feel we are cured because after all we feel amazing!  Never do we associate the "amazing" feeling to the consistent use of the medicine, but rather how we feel in the moment.  We don't take in consideration that if we aren't consistent with use, that the illness could return and return even worse than before.

With anything we commit to, know this:   It can be tedious, taxing, and even boring at times.  You may not even see the fruits of your labor for a while, but just remember why you committed in the first place and the end-result you desire to see.  Nothing worth having comes easy! In consistence lies the VICTORY!!! Until next time! Ciao for now!

Rise To The Occasion

Greetings Beautiful Souls

Oh, how I have missed you!  It has been quite a bit of time since I have last been on my blog.  No excuse other than I have had to renew my mind.  I had to come to a point where I said to myself that I had something to say and it was worth listening to.  And guess what…. I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY! This entry came about while working out with a good friend of mine.  Here goes……

I have a friend that I work out with from time to time when I want to be a little lax in my regimen and converse.  When we do work out, he focuses on weight training more so than cardio, so the treadmill was a bit of a struggle for him.  A few weeks pass and I decide to call him up and sure enough he was willing to meet me at the gym to catch up.  We go and of course we weight train as usual, and then go to the treadmills to finish up.  We pick two treadmills next to each other and commence to “getting it.”  We start with a 3-minute warm-up of about 3mph and then increase from there.  Each time one of us increase, the other does as well until finally I notice that he is so fluid on the treadmill that he has surpassed me.  For the past three weeks, he has been dedicating more time to his cardio and it showed! I’m getting winded and my legs are starting to cramp so I say, “Slow down, I can barely keep up!”  Continuing with his jog he looks over and says “So you want me to decrease my speed so you can feel better?  Why should I have to revert back to a level I have mastered just to make you feel comfortable with where you are at?  You better push yourself and come up to my level girl!” And continues at his current pace! This jars me.  Enough so, that I muster up every bit of strength I have and finish my three miles faster than I have ever done before.  All because he did not back down, but pushed me to another level of excellence.

I remember times in my life where I chose not to “shine” because I did not want others to feel like I was trying to make them feel inferior or that I thought I was superior.  There have been times where I knew I could do better and I knew to do better but I didn’t because I needed for others to be okay with where they were at.  The problem with that is I wasn’t being authentic to myself or a motivator to others.  By not rising to the occasion I told people that it’s okay to stay complacent/stagnated and that progression is underrated.  Had my friend backed down and ran at a pace that was suitable for me, I would have never picked up the pace and still be running at the level I had been for months now. I would have been so fine with the pace because after all, at least I was exercising, right? WRONG!  Because I was not changing it up, I would eventually plateau and weight loss would be no more!  Just like in life!  If you continue to go at whatever you desire with the same energy that you have been putting in, then you will eventually bottom out, things will not progress, and because you are not seeing change you will quit! If you want different, then you will have to do different.

I know this is easier said than done, but trust me, IT IS POSSIBLE! If it does feel like a task beyond your scope, then you need to find a circle that will motivate you and not congratulate your lack of effort.  And motivators, be just that!!! MOTIVATE! Don’t revert back thinking that you are helping them. You are hurting not only their chances for success but yours as well.  Eagles always soar above the rest!  The question is, are you an Eagle or are you a Crow?!  Do you fly with others to be a part of the crowd or are you willing to soar alone?  Sometimes it is lonely at the top, so pull someone with you instead of stepping down!  NEVER allow the loneliness of the next level make you revert back to the previous one!  Until next time! Ciao for now!

 

It’s In You (Seeing It Before Actually Seeing It)

Recently I just wrote this entry for a magazine issue.  I thought it fitting to share with you guys today!  Enjoy:

Anytime I hear the words “transformation” or “metamorphosis” I always think of the infamous caterpillar; the beady eyed (six to be exact), multiple legged, slithering caterpillar.  I’ve never liked looking at them because they were not the most appealing specimen to look upon.  I can remember one summer when I was about 10 years old, my parent’s roof being COMPLETELY covered with caterpillars.  It was as if we were plagued with the small creatures! You could not go in or out of the house without having one (or five) fall on you.  I’m sure you can imagine how frustrating that could be for a young child.  Then, I could only see what was right in front of my face.  Nothing inside of me said that inside this long, wrinkly insect, was a beautiful, graceful, soaring butterfly waiting to transform.  The truth is, everything that we are transforming into is already inside of us.  We just have to look beyond the NOW and see the END!

For each child that is born, lies within it, the adult that is to come.  Sure we have to go through the long process of becoming (puberty, life-lessons, and character building), but nevertheless there is a grown man/woman that is waiting to evolve and make a mark on this beautiful world.  This goes for every step of our lives.  No matter what it is, we have to have a mindset of the end result!  You can’t look at where you are and be so discouraged about the process that is to come that you forget that it is the path to get you to your destiny!  I would like to think that as the caterpillar slithers on its belly through dust and gravel that it’s not deterred, for as it crawls, it sees itself already flying from flower to flower! I would like to think that the fact that it will have to be in a tight, uncomfortable cocoon for weeks (even months depending on the larvae) is not enough to deter it from the vision at hand: THE BUTTERFLY!

The problem with some of us today is the process feel so long and tedious that we FORGET that we were promised this great success.  When I think back on the many prophecies given to the people in the Bible, they were always told what was to be, but never the process they would go through to get there!  David knew he was to be king, but he did not know that he was going to have to literally run for his life to get there; Joseph knew that his brothers were to bow down before him but it was never told to him that he would spend years in a pit before it was to come into fruition; and our dear sweet Mary was told that the child she was to conceive was going to be the King over all kings and that his reign would be forever more, but never did she know that she would have to run in the middle of the night to keep from being stoned, or watch her child be beat within an inch of his life for Him to be the Savior of the World!!! Why was this not divulged to any of them? It’s quite simple actually….. 1.  God only tells us the Beginning and The End of a thing because that’s who He is (Alpha & Omega) and  2. BECAUSE, THE PROCESS DOESN’T MATTER! 

We get caught up with the many obstacles thrown at us that we become distracted from the reality that what we are striving to become (pastors, writers, financial advisors, etc), is already in us, and we are in our “cocoon” period; also the enemy is using this process to keep us from speaking and envisioning what we desire to physically see!  Our mind has to be so set on the end result that we have to have tunnel vision!  Put blinders up around you, so that the distraction of the process will not distract you from a victorious end!!! Continue to see the greatness inside of you and speak with surety and boldness what you desire to see!  Your destiny depends on it!  Until Next Time, Ciao for now!

I Forgot To Pray

Yoga, Pilates, Massages, Therapy......all of these are tried when we are stressed to the max!  Burdened by the trials of life, we try so many remedies to keep us centered; to keep us grounded; to keep us from totally falling apart!  I myself have tried so many different avenues in my life when it seemed like my back was against the wall.  Some were very affective, but none ever gave me a lasting peace beyond me completing the activity.  I have grown up in church all of my life and have been given the necessary tools to "fight" when in my own personal war, but for some reason, it all went out of the window when I needed it most!  Simply put, I forgot to pray!


I went to the movies with my amazing mother and younger sister this afternoon to see the movie "War Room." It was a great movie that centered around praying to our Heavenly Father and truly surrendering all to Him.  If you haven't checked it out, please do so.  Without giving away too much of the movie, it involved an older lady devout in her prayer life, teaching a younger lady going through her trials to fight in the spiritual instead of the natural.  As I looked at the movie I replaced the two female characters with my mother and myself.  As long as I could remember my mother has always had an awesome prayer life and has always encouraged us to do so as well.  She has awaken each morning (along with another minister of the church) and has diligently and fervently  prayed to our Heavenly Father.  Because of this, I think in the past my sister's and I relied on her to make our request known unto God instead of us doing it ourselves.  My mother would always tell us not to wait until we were in a storm to decide to start praying; though God would still answer, it would feel familiar and we would know exactly what to do instead of trying everything else and then trying Him.   It's almost like training for a marathon.  Not saying that its impossible to wake up and run a full marathon without training, but if we do condition ourselves before the race, we will finish with ease and in a timely manner! So when my mother experienced her own storm a week ago, she knew exactly what to do...


A couple of weeks ago my mother was admitted into the hospital.  She was there for a several days, but in that short time she gave special instructions to my sister and I to bring her ipad (to use the bible app), portable dvd/cd player (to listen to audio sermons), and KFC chicken (she was hungry, don't judge her {smile}).  My mother knew exactly what to do, because she had been doing it all along.  Each morning I would call as I always do to check on her, and each morning I would be in awe of this mighty woman of God.  She would answer the phone full of zest and surety and refreshed from her time with God!  I told my friends how strong she was and how unbothered she seemed to be through this entire process.  I'm  sure that it had nothing to do with the meds she was on, but EVERYTHING to do with Mark 11:24...."24.   Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." My mother had a sense of peace about her through her trial because when she did pray, she truly surrendered all to God.  Her resolve has always been the same: "I don't have time to worry about something that I've already given to God."  This is the same quote that made me create my own prayer life with God.


When tragedy hit my home, I remember sitting in my room alone crying for the millionth time trying to figure out what I could do to stop this reoccurring moment each night!  I was already doing yoga, so I decided to research the prices for kick-boxing class, when all of a sudden it hit me:  why was I spending all of this money for temporary relief, when I could get permanent rest for free?!  It was at that moment all of my parent's teachings seemed to come back to me.  It was at that time that I truly connected with "The Great I Am!"  I must admit that it was "touch and go" for a while, but the more I prayed the more it just began to flow!  Finally, I knew what peace truly felt like!  Now when trials try to rise up in my life, my first reaction isn't to call my parents and give them the run down so they can pray for me; nor is it to research different remedies online.  It is to fight spiritually because through this I always WIN! So when I pray, I don't worry about the outcome, nor do I replay the instance over in my mind.  It's settled!  James 5:16 states, "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."  Know that whatever trial may come, one thing I will never forget to do from here on out is pray!  Until next time, Ciao for now!

YOU ARE DESERVING

Hello Beautiful People!  Oh how I’ve missed you.  I have tried countless times to write a blog in the past few weeks, but every one that I’ve tried to publish, just did not feel right!  By now I’m sure you guys have come to know that I love “AHA Moments!”  I absolutely love going through everyday life, and finding the most profound things out of the most simple situations!    Friday was no different.

After work I ran a few errands.  Time had gone by so, that I decided to pick something up before going home.  Since I was in Fayetteville, I had decided that I wanted a little Mexican food, so I went to Mi Casitas.  To cut down on time, I started planning exactly what I wanted to eat on the way to the restaurant.  I decided on a Fajita Trio Quesadilla (Shrimp, Chicken, & Steak), a side of sour cream (extra $), a large salsa (extra $), and a large cheese dip (extra $) (these details will be made clear in a moment).  I know I sound a little greedy but I wanted this so badly, that neither the quantity nor the additional cost I would accrue, mattered. 

I walked into the restaurant, and as I walked towards the order area, I locked eyes with a gentleman who was cashing out his bill.  He turned and asked if I was picking up an order, and I stated to him that I was about to place one.  At that moment, he smiled and told me, “Well pick anything you would like on the menu, and I will pay for it!  Go on, get whatever you want!” I was so grateful that I began to place my order, but since it wasn’t coming out of my pocket, I decided to scale it back considerably. So I ordered a Chicken and Shrimp Fajita Quesadilla and nothing more.  The gentleman paid for the food, I thanked him, and he left.  I was taken aback by this kind gesture!  So much so, that I asked the cashier if this man had paid for anyone else.  He had not!  I was the only one!  As I was driving home I thought about what just happened and began to get a little giddy.   I could not believe my fortune!  That’s when the Holy Spirit began to speak to me and remind me of a few things:

For as long as I have had finances of my own, I have always been a giver.  On many occasions I have paid for others’ food in restaurants and in drive thru’s.  Because I did not want it to seem as if I was giving for show, I would make sure that I left before they knew who had paid.  I definitely believe in Matthew 6:3-4 (Giving in secret and God rewarding you openly).   It was then driving home I realized that my harvest was finally being produced.  So my first “AHA Moment” was simple:  If you sow, then you will definitely reap.  Not always when you want it, but nevertheless it will come!  So don’t be weary in well doing, because a harvest is just beyond the horizon (Galatians 6:9).  God spoke and told me that I was in my harvest season, but too bad I didn’t allow it to come into full fruition…….

As I was nearing I-95, I started getting a little hungry and wished I had gotten the cheese dip and nachos!  “Why oh why hadn’t I ordered the dip,” I thought to myself.  I didn’t want to be greedy, nor seem like I was taking advantage of such a considerate offer.  That’s when “AHA Moment” #2 hit me!  This man, not knowing if I was ordering for just myself or an entire family was telling me to get WHATEVER I WANTED!  I could have done just that if I had just opened my mouth and spoke my true desires!  What I was going to order didn’t matter to him, so why did it bother me?  Now I was on my way home to eat a fajita without sour cream or salsa (which I wanted) because I didn’t want to seem like an opportunist! That’s when it hit me!  We as children of God have been allotted this same opportunity by our Father, but forgetting who and who’s we are, we don’t truly ask what we will.

How many times have we thought of our dream home of 5 bedrooms and 5 baths, but when we stood in prayer, we asked for what we felt like would be a more attainable home of 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths?!    Why did we feel the need to digress in our visions? Is it because we feel like we are being too greedy (like I felt Friday), or is it that we don’t feel like our desires are realistic enough?  Whatever the reason there is one universal answer…..simply put we don’t feel as if we are deserving enough to have it!  John 15:7(KJV) states, “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.”  God has given us the green light to ask anything we want of Him, and because He loves us so much and wants us to be happy, He is more than willing to give it to us.  So why then do we limit Him in His giving? 

What happens is we look at ourselves and our past indiscretions and our faith to receive it is not built up to par, and begin to think that we have no right to ask these things when actuality we have every right!  When you are a part of a royal priesthood, joint-heirs with Jesus Christ, you have the right to ask your Father anything you want.  Because He is Jehovah-Jireh (a God that will provide), and El-Shaddai (the almighty potentate, the source of all blessings, the God who is more than enough) we should not hesitate in telling Him exactly what we desire as His children!  We forget who our Father is and instead of walking in authority and boldness, we scale back our request to someone who has told us in no uncertain terms to get whatever we would like.  All we have to do is take the limits off of ourselves and open our mouth to speak what we want, then finally open our arms to receive. 

In a couple of weeks I will be 35, and in all of my years, I cannot think of one time where I scaled back on any of the request that I have had of my biological father.  Matter-of-fact I have added last minute items onto my request because I felt confident that he would provide it all without hesitation.  I did not feel like I was using him, nor did I question how he would deliver (in which he delivered 100% of the time).  For some reason though, I have dialed it back when making my request known to the Father of all Fathers!   I was saddened by my actions on that night, so I called both of my parents and my sisters to tell them of my mediocre blessing and my revelation!

No longer will we compromise our desires because we refuse to see ourselves the way God sees us.  Right now, allow the scales to fall off your eyes. With the biggest smile spread across your beautiful face, look in the mirror at yourself.  Clear your mind of any negative thoughts, open your mouth, and remind yourself that YOU ARE DESERVING!  Until next time, Ciao for now!

Embracing The Now!!

Last night, a great friend and I were talking about the things that God has shown her regarding the plan He has for her, and oh what a wonderful plan it is!  I listened to her excitement regarding the future, at the same time I heard her discontentment about the present.   She expressed that she was “over” her current situation and just wanted to fast-forward into her new chapter already.  As she was speaking I couldn't help but remember how I once was during certain transitions in my own life. 

I can remember when I decided to purchase my first car.  I would look at different models and the specs of the car.  I would look at different colors and imagine myself stepping out of it!  The more I narrowed down the choices, the more anxious I would become about finally signing the papers for purchase.  At the same time I would cringe every time I looked at the car that my parents had given me.  Each time I got into it I would find something else wrong about it:  The color, how it started up, how long it took to warm up, the seats, etc…  Never did I look at my car and see that it got me from point A to point B without fail; Never did I consider that it was a totally paid off car that served me well for 5 years without any serious issues!  I could name countless times where I discounted where I was in life because I was so ready to get to the next level.  I’m sure many of us can relate to this! 

I began to speak to my friend and remind her that she was doing exactly what I had done so many times before: failed to embrace “the now!”  Many times in life, God speaks to us and shows us exactly where He is taking us in life.  We see our end result and become so elated that instead of looking at what God has shown us as encouragement to hold on to His promise, we immediately get in an anxious mode and feel like it’s to happen now and start looking at where we are in a negative light, instead of embracing this place we’re in all while having the right attitude!  While being in our “now season,” we never take this time to prepare for what’s to come!  Let me explain…..

God is all about timing and making sure that you are ready for what He has in store for you; as we should be as well.  Because God does not operate in mess, I feel another reason He shows us where He is taking us, is to give us the time to work on a few things we may need to within ourselves.  While waiting for the perfect car, and the right time, I could have prepared for this new chapter in my life.  I could have found out what my monthly payments would have been and started saving that amount each month to increase my down payment or prepare for the increase in the insurance plan that I would have with the new car.  I DEFINITELY could have taken this time to change my mindset regarding keeping the old one clean so this mindset would have carried on to the new car (I FAILED BY THE WAY).  As I have matured, I have definitely learned to embrace my “now” until my “next” comes!

God has spoken to me on several occasions: directly and through others.  RESTORATION has been the word that He continues to drop in my spirit.  He has told me to prepare myself for a new relationship?  WHOA! HEAVY STUFF, right?!  Well of course I do not expect this to happen any time soon, nor would I dream of rushing the process.  What I have done is embrace where I am now, while working on this thing called “ME.”  I first started by thanking God for the new chapter that is to be my life while still embracing the chapter I am currently in.  I also talked to my inner circle about the characteristics they felt I could work on.  I listened to each and every person very intently and noticed that they all came to the same consensus regarding my flaws. (NOTE:  Make sure you have loving people in your life willing to tell you the absolute truth.  Also make sure you are in a position to receive what they have to say).  I also prepare myself, by cooking!  I know this may sound weird to some, but this is something that I have done little of in the past year. Cooking has now become a part of my regime.  Lastly, I have been obedient to the instructions that God has given me, so when I pray each morning and night for my loved ones, I too pray for him (whoever he may be) and his well-being. 

Never do I question Gods instructions, or look at every man I pass wondering if he is the one.  I don’t rush the process (though several of my friends definitely try to).  I just continue to live my life as I have: being thankful for where He has taken me thus far; continue to be the best mother I can possibly be; continue to learn more about my Savior since He knows all about me!  Embrace where you are and never despise it just because it looks small compared to where you are going (Zechariah 4:10).  Just remember that no matter where you currently are, God has a plan of a brighter future ahead (Jeremiah 29:11).  Know that God loves you and so do I.  Until next time, Ciao for now!