Owning It Just To Disown It!

I pride myself in being as transparent as I possibly can when blogging so when people see me sharing my weaknesses they also see God showing himself strong when correcting them.  Also others too will give voice to their own flaws in hopes to help someone else!  That way no one gives power to shame, insecurity, or pride!  We all are giving voice to growth, change, and God's grace and mercy to allow us another day to get it right!

Flaws!  Whether it’s a stutter, stretch marks, a sloped forehead, or a limp; we all have something that makes us different and I think that is absolutely beautiful!  We were not meant to look alike and that to me is FLAWESOME (I’m a nerd sometimes lol).  These “flaws” ….the ones that make us unique; the ones that separates us from the other billions of individuals in the world; the ones that are beyond our control; the ones that aren't FLAWS at all!!!! They’re beautiful! What about our CHARACTER FLAWS though?  You know, the flaws that can make the most gorgeous person you've ever seen, look absolutely horrendous; the flaws that keep you from inviting them to the most amazing and fun getaways because they could possibly dampen the mood; the ones that we will point out in others, but refuse to evaluate in OURSELVES?! Yeah what about those flaws!   

I was conversing with someone on yesterday regarding our 2014 and how it was an enlightening year.  She began to say that she found out that through certain events that happened last year, she learned that she was very prideful and how humbling certain experiences were.  I listened to the event that brought her to this conclusion so intently. When I felt like she was done with her story, I said to her, "I think it’s great that you have gained insight!  It takes a strong person to take ownership of such a flaw, but what are you doing to correct this?"  Let me end  by saying this IS a friend of mine so we are at a level in our relationship where we can be totally real with each other and the other knows that it doesn't come from a place of evil intent!  Well my friend pondered the question.........Just like I did when it was asked of me!

For as long as I can remember, my family and friends tell me all the time that my biggest  flaw is that my presentation is less than desirable when speaking my truths; I can be cold and matter-of-factly when speaking about sensitive issues; that it would be received better if I had a little bit more tact!  I would listen and I would agree each time that my presentation was very direct, but isn't it supposed to be?!  I always disliked when people tried to feel me out or beat around the bush when trying to confront an issue.  It felt disingenuous and a little frightful on their end to me.  But that was me!  I had to learn everyone does not view life the same way that I do, so how can they receive the same way that I would.

Well last month wasn't any different! I was having a debate of sorts with a friend of mine and when it was my turn to respond she went on to say that I spoke truth harshly and that I needed to try to find another way to present my side of arguments.  I agreed quickly with her, which I felt made her even more upset (which I did not understand).  I went on to say, “Honey I know this about me! I can admit my flaws and I own every single one of them!” In the midst of my rant, the Holy Spirit interrupted my conversation (you know how He does lol!) and said “okay so you owned it, now when are you going to do something to correct them?!”  I stopped in mid-sentence and told my friend that I would have to call her back!  I felt so embarrassed, that you would have thought that my friend heard the chastisement that I had just received.  It made me think though!

I have for years took pride in owning my flaws!  I would always say that I may be a lot of things, but at least I can admit it!  I mean in a world where we as individuals would not face our own issues, I thought I was ahead of the curve by being honest with me! I would own my flaws to the point that I myself would say, "I suck at delivery" or "I am the worst when it comes to coddling!" Well that night I started thinking, that the reason I was still so bad after all of these years about it, was because I continued to OWN this as a permanent fixture in my life instead of trying to fix something that devalued me as a person, that made people second guess venting to me for fear of me lacking the ability to give advice with care, that made my children talk to my mother instead of me about certain issues.  

When you own things whether physically or metaphorically, you take possession of it in a way that you guard it with no hopes of ever releasing it. I guess my ownership of these character flaws did just that.  As long as I said that this is who I was, then that was who I was going to remain.  

I quickly grabbed my journal and started writing a new vision of myself that I would work to become. As soon as I was done with my love letter to myself, I prayed for guidance, and discernment to know when a situation would tempt me to revert back so I could quickly remove myself from it or change my mindset (whichever came first).  At that moment I no longer OWNED such negativity regarding me but released this baggage to pick up a new way of life for myself.  Simply put, I owned it long enough to recognize what I needed to disown!  Stop wearing flaws that you CAN control as an accessory!  You are valued so much higher than that costume jewelry!  So lets replace it with the gems that we deserve and that we are!  Live Love Laugh!  Until Next Time, Ciao for now!