Unexpected Growth



The greatest AHA moments that has been in my life, were the ones where I have overcome an obstacle without even knowing it!!!!! This time has been no different..........

A few months ago, I was informed of some information from someone that a couple of acquaintances of mine from a previous job had lied on me. Yeah I know what you must be thinking, "Get in line, it happens all the time." What made this different for me is that it was a lie that could potentially defame my character, and to top it off, it was during one of the most difficult times in my life. I mean who would intentionally set out to hurt someone when they were already low?! I already didn't have a warm rapport with the individuals' who the liar was talking to, so anything that was said negatively about me would surely be believable to them (even if some of it sounded farfetched).

As I pondered over the lies that had been spread I had decided that I wanted the individuals lives! Harsh, right?! By this I meant I wanted their way of providing for themselves, how they pampered themselves, etc....I WANTED THEIR JOBS!!! I figured since you brought up the "workplace" in your lie and since you went back to the job to tell others this lie, it would only be fitting that I take away what seemed to be a toxic environment for you!  Well, I started the process that very night, by calling my friend who was by-the-way over Human Resources and asked her what I could do to get the two women fired!  She laid it out step-by-step, citing that since we "sort of" worked together, I could use the excuse that because of their actions they made coming to work a "hostile work environment." 

The next morning I made an appointment to speak with the Program Manager.   I explained to him what happened and what was told to me by one of my family members.  He then said that he would do a quiet investigation to see if they had said these things to anyone at work who would be willing to admit to it.  HE DID! Later that same day he confirmed that I absolutely could cite "hostile work environment" as a reason to have them terminated.  He then told me to think it over for a few days and if I felt the same way, then he would start the process.  Well just so I didn't look like this was totally about REVENGE, I agreed to sleep on it for a few days.

As I was going home that day, I had practiced the long, insulting, word piercing things that I would say to them when I told them that it was me who had them fired!  Whoever said that Revenge is Sweet definitely knew what they were talking about, lol! Anyway, I informed my mother of my intentions and I could tell on her face that she didn't agree totally with what I was about to do.  She called me later that night to tell me that I really should just let it go, and let God handle it!.......LET IT GO?! WHAT?! Was she serious?! Okay, for everyone that knows me, they know that I am totally a Mommy/Daddy girl but she so missed it with this one.  I didn't feel like waiting on God to fix this one.  I felt like He would take entirely too long to "FIX IT" for me and besides His way was NOT my way, lol.

I had received no sleep that night for fuming!  I actually rationalized that it was okay to take away their way of providing for themselves.  I mean after all, if they didn't think about this or their children when spreading these lies, why should I right?  The next morning still reeling from the night before, I drove to work ready to give my speech when something inside reminded me of all the times I had messed up and was forgiven.  All the times I had gossiped and was covered.  I immediately got even angrier that at this time (of all times) I was growing a conscience.  Very long story short, I told the PM to forget about the process and we will all move on with our lives (it would be easy for them to do this since they were unaware of my actions because I wanted it to be a total blow to them). Except, all of us didn't move on with our lives.  I thought about it night and day.  It didn't matter what I was doing and what was going on around me, I found a way to steer my thoughts to my betrayal! 

This weekend I went shopping with my girls and one of the women came up to me to speak.  MIRACULOUSLY I didn't flinch, my stomach didn't turn, nor did I scream obscene things to her.  I just simply spoke to her with the most genuine smile on my face and nodded as she went on and on.  As she was speaking though I noticed that everything I had planned to do if I ever came in contact with them, didn't happen.  As much as I tried to muster up the anger, it just would not resonate!  Had I gotten over this? Was it even possible? Apparently so!  I reprimanded myself for TRYING to get angry.  Reminded myself who and who's I was and just simply wished her well for the holidays and left with my babies!

Sometimes things die within us without us really knowing it! Once we realize it, let's just rejoice instead of dredging up unnecessary emotions that do nothing but weigh us down!  Accept that you are growing in so many ways.  Embrace the change, welcome the new you, and expect that better is coming!  Love you all, mean it! Ciao for now!